Mobile Me

Tap tap.
Slow & steady.
breath in (ouch)
Breath out.
Drugs choke the life out of me.
Drugs help me turn the corner on despair.
Dreamt of trying to squeeze to death a frog in my left hand and mouse with my right.
Even after hearing bones being crushed they refuse to die.
Must be the Ball Python in me.
It hurts to laugh.

end of dailies

been sick. getting sicker. what's it all about? i feel as if the end is near. i just want to be able to breath deeply again. contemplating dropping hockey as my regular workout. new laptop tomorrow.

car A/C went - $1500 repair. hell A/C used to be an option. i need a haircut, but am once again out of money before the weekend. how do you begin giving all your belongings away. make a living will. do it. just do it.

my last hope: ayerveda. lost ten pounds in the last two weeks. not by exercising either. fucking drugs.

8/8/88

23 years ago today at 6:00pm in the evening we tied the knot. after 7 years of living together getting to know each other's quirks and foibles, we decided to join our hearts in holy matrimony.

for richer & poorer (richer is better)

for better or worse

in sickness & health

the noose is tightening

i'm having trouble breathing, but it's from a combination of dog days depression and harvest lung.

time for a change

more of the same

love conquers all

time scales

reading two books, against C's wishes:

101 quantum questions

dreaming

beginning to journal my food intake & output, daily.

no drinky, no smoky, no mental stimulation.

the scales of time and distance in subatomic land is mind expanding. dreams, it turns out, have no useful meaning. just bizarre brain activity.

health

education

welfare

let us strive for equanimity for all.

when it rains

all dead animals go to heaven.

back from a short stay in Madison, WI via two nights in Climax, MI

no MMBD, no KW. one accident, anal not auto. thinking on cruise control. 85 WPM/MPH

held a ten year old ball python.

played "liar" on two different pianos.

de-tuned a Stratacaster.

dreamt once upon a time

dancing like i was standing still

snarling Apnea

continental breakfasts

i need to eat more fruit

and consult with a brujo about my delirium

side effects

The side effects of medicine are often juvenile and just plain vile.

Consumption & Excess.

violence & anger

how do you feel now?

i think fruit can heal me.

veggies help me grow

grain sustains me

juices & water i crave

pills,

capsules,

powder,

suppositories,

injections,

i do them all

static

light has no mass

why do my insides churn?

how to keep on an even keel

when someone is rockin the boat.

forcing new habits to exorcise the old (bad) ones

moving money around on paper

filling in forms

fighting

with

the

wife