Mobile Me

Tap tap.
Slow & steady.
breath in (ouch)
Breath out.
Drugs choke the life out of me.
Drugs help me turn the corner on despair.
Dreamt of trying to squeeze to death a frog in my left hand and mouse with my right.
Even after hearing bones being crushed they refuse to die.
Must be the Ball Python in me.
It hurts to laugh.

end of dailies

been sick. getting sicker. what's it all about? i feel as if the end is near. i just want to be able to breath deeply again. contemplating dropping hockey as my regular workout. new laptop tomorrow.

car A/C went - $1500 repair. hell A/C used to be an option. i need a haircut, but am once again out of money before the weekend. how do you begin giving all your belongings away. make a living will. do it. just do it.

my last hope: ayerveda. lost ten pounds in the last two weeks. not by exercising either. fucking drugs.

8/8/88

23 years ago today at 6:00pm in the evening we tied the knot. after 7 years of living together getting to know each other's quirks and foibles, we decided to join our hearts in holy matrimony.

for richer & poorer (richer is better)

for better or worse

in sickness & health

the noose is tightening

i'm having trouble breathing, but it's from a combination of dog days depression and harvest lung.

time for a change

more of the same

love conquers all

time scales

reading two books, against C's wishes:

101 quantum questions

dreaming

beginning to journal my food intake & output, daily.

no drinky, no smoky, no mental stimulation.

the scales of time and distance in subatomic land is mind expanding. dreams, it turns out, have no useful meaning. just bizarre brain activity.

health

education

welfare

let us strive for equanimity for all.

when it rains

all dead animals go to heaven.

back from a short stay in Madison, WI via two nights in Climax, MI

no MMBD, no KW. one accident, anal not auto. thinking on cruise control. 85 WPM/MPH

held a ten year old ball python.

played "liar" on two different pianos.

de-tuned a Stratacaster.

dreamt once upon a time

dancing like i was standing still

snarling Apnea

continental breakfasts

i need to eat more fruit

and consult with a brujo about my delirium

side effects

The side effects of medicine are often juvenile and just plain vile.

Consumption & Excess.

violence & anger

how do you feel now?

i think fruit can heal me.

veggies help me grow

grain sustains me

juices & water i crave

pills,

capsules,

powder,

suppositories,

injections,

i do them all

static

light has no mass

why do my insides churn?

how to keep on an even keel

when someone is rockin the boat.

forcing new habits to exorcise the old (bad) ones

moving money around on paper

filling in forms

fighting

with

the

wife

one month of daily thoughts

yesterday was a travel day. two hours Eastbound on I-94. then it was breakfast, medicine and sleep. wake up unpack nap arise eat watch sleep.

chatter in the digital realm: Pete playing in Brighton this week. Chomsky Videos from Richard.

nutrition and exercise daily logs.

Up Down top Bottom Strange charm

what are Quarks?

check out the particle zoo

on Wikipedia

Planning a last minute road trip to Madison, WI

Wondering when (if) I should tell my wife.

Floundering in the aftermath of Lidia's release from the hospital. She won't go. she won't listen. she doesn't understand. she has no choice. and yet. still she manages to manipulate. the 50 year old love of my life. I am helpless, because love is what it is. faded glory. now i return to the source of all my fury and confusion. in a final effort to bond. with the nameless and faceless.

a farce.

a fable.

fuck

said "bunga bunga binga bunga"

Bunga - not exactly sure what it means but after saying it three times in a row, I'm listening.

the ukulele wave is beginning to crescendo.

critical mass is immanent.

crafting subversive intentions

whilst

reducing the clutter

to allow prosperity

space to

occupy

i wish to study bamboo

the View from the top

Here I am in my internal office. there is a row of ironic windows that look out onto a hallway.
I stare at the screen, and a web cam stares back.I live in a dream, and the walls begin to crack. Mercury opposes Venus. the in-laws are closing in. I am surrounded. I am alone. The shelves in my closet fall from the weight of acquisition. 6 shirts for birthday. really? Six. i try wearing them all at once, to see if I too, won't collapse.
Hot hot weather. cool cool water. give me some water. i can't breathe. H2O + iPod shuffle. Urgent update available.

return to second life

tomorrow we travel to Lansing for a 2nd Life workshop. i need new threads for my avatar.

to be happy:
Love where you are at.
Love who you are with
Love what you are doing.

i read that somewhere recently.
met with the boss lady today. good preview.

funny, I don't feel much more than a day over 53

Fallor ergo sum

the best laid plans are seldom seen to fruition.

boo boo caught a squirrel.

facetime

my favorite things

swimming & listening to music.

2 cavities

new laptop sans premiere

stop me if you've heard this befor...

Thanks for all the chatter.

I read it and weep.

I go about my day.

I think, I should come back and write something.

I should like and comment.

I should post, tweet, link and reply.

Instead, I abide. I lurk. I linger.

I postpone. I procrastinate.

I postulate.

"it is in conversation that you begin to fully internalize what some piece of information means to you." - john seely brown

frickin iPod Touch

Finally broke down and bought the 32 gig Touch.
I think I am spending money out of frustration (always a good feeling)
then cashed in 10k of Amex to grab a iPod shuffle.
splurged on a waterproof headset and case.
dropped two C notes at MusiciansFriend:
clip on tuner
iRig
Line6 portable amp
C will shit a brick when July's bills come in.
Meanwhile her sista Pat is hanging out on the couch. got to be getting old. Lydia is finally out of the hospital danger and into the fire house.
boo boo is my only exercise.

Life

Listening To Keith Richards autobiography read by Johnny Depp.
Cynthia's mom shows up last week on Wednesday. Falls and breaks her hip.
Transported to Botsford Hospital. Insanity ensues.
Tommy stops by with a medicinal puff
Miss Michael on Fire @ Trinity House. Miss Jeff's Birthday.
Put up a new pool on Father's Day.
Finish "unbroken."

Frickin Graduation Day

Doc says i have to watch my blood sugar. My glucose levels. Other doc says i have to stuff these wax mesaline submarines up my butt. Other doc says I have Crohn's.

Everything is shit.

Not really, that was the theme of the latest South Park. Stan turns ten. The tween years. ha ha

Reading secret life of plants. Green world. Unbroken. being wrong. Big History. Growth of the Soil.

Growth of the Soil

time to plant, put up the pool, electrify the air conditioning
clean the gas grill, ride the dragon, face the music.
Soil / Soul
Expansion / Contraction
Wet / Dry
Cool / Warm
Acid / Alkaline
XXX/YYY/ZZZ

Maybe, and then it's gone..

the last thing i need is the first thing i want
Green is the new black
Filter, distill, percolate
story
image
plants can intuit our intentions
and react
albiet, slowly
but listen and you can hear
them bloom

Wings win a nail biter to brink it back to the Joe for Game 6

A Datsukian effort of will leads to three assists and a last period routing of the Sharks, to pull out a win 4-3.
beer and pretzels in the bachelor zone.
After demolishing the honey do list, i steam and bake into the wee hours of the morning catching up on Sunday night regularity:
theKilling
Treme
Game of Thrones

rock on

two sides to every story

This is a new gruesome show on AMC - the Killing
based on a dutch show
dark
but captivating.

and now
for Cinco De Mayo
festivities.

should i get a tattoo?

hockey ends with only one minor bruise.

Cynthia gets one thing done and trots of to FLA.

this is the best of times and the worst of times. moving is a drain.

MOM: Level, madam, level

Palindromes: "Dammit, I'm mad!"

"Rats live on no evil star" and "Step on no pets"

We go in a circle at night and are consumed by fire - Latin

Wash [the] sins not only [the] face - Greek

civic, radar, level, rotor, kayak

Able was I ere I saw Elba"^[2], "A man, a plan, a canal, Panama",^[3] and "Madam, I'm Adam

"Fall leaves after leaves fall", "You can cage a swallow, can't you, but you can't swallow a cage, can you?"

Other examples include:

• was / saw
• gateman / nametag
• deliver / reviled
• straw / warts
• star / rats
• lived / devil
• live / evil
• diaper / repaid
• smart / trams
• spit / tips
• stop / pots
• stressed desserts

"The absence of evidence is not evidence of absence." -- Carl Sagan

"When you look into an abyss, the abyss also looks into you." -- Frederick Nietzsche

Staff Appreciation

Well at least it's not a Staff Infection...
Music by Larry, Luti, Wendy & Jim H.
Hats off award goes to me. for wrangling Video for Humanities.
MultiTasking. Student Music tonight at Orchard.
Beware the Dog.

O.B.E.s

Outta Body Experiences
intentional.
imagination
perception
motion
quanta
uncertainty
auditory hallucinations
Doctor.of.Mind
hockey tonight
parking lot banquet

ENTER THE VOID

GaSPar NoE blows my mind.

thanks for the deeweedee "Maude".

technology aiding and abetting

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1191111/trivia?tr=tr1202709

imagination v perception

image v percept

friends and family

brother mark had a scare last week. chest pains. requiring 6 bypasses to clean up his arteries.

meanwhile cousin barb has a blood clot in the brain.

and richard's oldest sister jane dies of cancer.

it's an off week at work. facebook flickers. listen for the hapidrum. gonnggg.

Day After, the

Big Snow Storm 2/21 School Canceled.
Terry calls. Mark had a heart attack. not the big one.
Dennis emails: shots fired!
Shoveled 6 inches of wet snow.
Steamer.
Ski.
repeat.

1080 hours

What it takes to be a good gamer

What it takes to get through high school

What it takes to get great at something

reality is broken: let's play games instead

urgent optimism - self motivation

social fabric - trust in others

blissful productivity - stay busy, be happy

epic meaning - awe

3 games to create the future:

World without Oil 2007

SuperStruct

Evoke 2010

venturing back into the 2nd life realm

there went the afternoon

last day of the first month of the new decade

Den is back in Ethiopia. Jeff is back on his own.

hockey is in full swing.

got in a fender bender - car needs work. still a dent in the driver side door.

two new trends: ereaders (Ipad) and teaching as apprenticeship. (john seely brown)

been enjoying the latest Tape Op and some of Chester Brown's illustrated material. Doodling revolution by sunni brown.

lotsa browns going down. themes.

Nude Year's Eve

jamming in the ether. reducing caloric consumption of soft porn. jean was an inventor, with a registered patent.
new gear for the new year makes me seem faster. I still need to take a breath before passing off to a winger.

jamming with the lads before and after science. life literally glows. mobile me now. who has time to read anymore.

resolve 2 evolve

nam myoho renge kyo

consciousness evolves when the self dissolves

breathe in, breathe out

avoid the fetters

transcend the self

grok