New Moon Semester's End

Black Hole Sun
The semester rolls to a stop next week. finals are due - last minute changes and pressures. outcomes planned for now realized. everybody needs. help.

the on-line professor. the voice of reason. a learned council. a devout listener. the dispatcher of sage advice and brilliant "plan b's". contingency is the last act of the defiance for those in dispair.

learning by doing. asking questions. using metaphor and simile. prompting more ideas and suggestions. opinions or facts. rules theroems and principles. laws of physics and man. logic. reason. perspective. wisdom.

1.begin with the end in mind.
2.put first things first.
3.sharpen the saw.

zen and the art of Cascading Style Sheets.

4 noble truths:

1.suffering is
2.desire is the root of suffering
3.only when we have broken the habits of illusion can we end our suffering
4.follow me:

remove the 15 defilements of the mind:

1.restraint of poisonous pleasures (senses)
2.use all there is to cultivate peace
3.tolerate all adversity
4.avoid the impure and spoilt
5.destroy the root
6.develop skills of peace

Use Words:

1.of Honesty
2.of Kindness
3.that are Nurturing
4.that are Worthy

Golden Rule: Do No harm

1.respect life
2.earn all that you have
3.control your desire

1.body
2.feelings
3.mind
4.spirit

(5 hinderances to Peace of mind)

1.sensual desire
2.ill-will
3.laziness
4.anxiety
5.doubt

right concentration is picking yourself up when you stumble and continuing onward.
right concentration is recognizing why, knowing when, learning how.
right concentration is continuing on the path without hesitation of doubt.
Right concentration is being here now.


now back to our regularly scheduled show.

concious dreaming and inner work consists of:

ignorance
awareness
practice
proof

Learning Flash - to create animations
Learning Dreamweaver - to funnel information through forms into databases and through formulas to create graphs and reports of tables and frames of data objects.
Using audio to enhance
Using Video to describe

1.reduce key frames
2.reuse instances
3.recycle learning objects

Brain Drain

reading "the three pound enigma" - issues of the brain, mind and consciousness. a reoccurring theme in my waking life. using just language (and some math) can we adequately describe the source of our sentience (sensation self awareness)?
There are those who profess an astonishing hypothosis: we are just our neurons behaving.
is the soul literal or metaphorical?

Also just read or am reading deepak chopra, wendell barry, thomas lynch. Essays on the miracle of life and the "...peace that passeth all understanding." hoping for inspiration of some new tact for dealing with Life in the Aftermath of Illness / Disease.
what is the cause of suffering? what is the true nature of the divine? our best and only tool is silence?

mostly finding alot of links (books) to other classic material on the inner workings.

but the disturbing trend is how it is effecting our relationship. There is a divide that is growing. i think that these ideas should help in developing stronger bonds but the signs all point to running away!

April Full Moon

Reading about death and dying. Dreams and intentions. Synchronicity and chaos. Life straining against the nocturnal desires.

what is mind. how are miracles explained. when does life end. in a moment. just like that. life as you knew it no longer applies.

participation required. reflection creates meaning. silent awareness is second attention. there but for the grace of dog go eye.

Bazooka. can this really be a word. a weopon no less. growing weary of grammer. how else do we interpret the meanings of words. in context. form is function.

poetry requires punctuation. prose demands it. losing myself in the dribble of early morning rain. fighting the first poison ivy attack of the season. clearing out the back yard. burning yard waste. nightly steamers. sleeping with the dog.

the year of magical thinking

listening to the book by joan didion. a year when everything changes. when does life and the pursuit of happiness intersect. and for how long. and then what.
profound is as profound does.
listening to deepak choopra talk about the seven stages of this the seven layers of that. obstacles, stages, passages, walking toward the ever shifting horizon of devine love. talking of Bliss and sacred moments. breathing and quieting the inner voice(s). yoga and meditation - plus learning to eat nonproblematically. "living on medication" revisted.
lots of loose talk lately between me and cynthia.
mortality. death pacts. foolish dreams and fucked up friends and neighbors. actually the people and location aren't the problem. the relationship between family and friends, friends and neighbors, family and neighbors. habits and habitual thinking. creativity and freedom. power and control. "...it doesn't take a jealous man to sing a jealous song..."
identifying boundaries and setting limits.
writing your name in the snow... doing cover tunes of the classics and posting to myspace once every three weeks. here to for vocal tracks:
hollowman (do a acoutic version)
cumbia circulado (re do with subtler vocals)
twisted sheets - remixes and dub versions
holly jolly hornpipe - this conceptual peice is worth revisiting. merging holiday tunes with ethnocentric polyrhythms - blue christmas, war is over, let it snow, etc.( 3/4 time signatures)
cheatin heart, ida red, girl i left behind, 16 tons, galway girrl, steve's last ramble, hesitating beauty, goggle eyed bee, we're all light, my brown guitar, down in new orleans, bonnie lies over the ocean. (to start)

the tyrannical mother syndrome.
have not talked with mom in over a month! life is full of activity and sleep. the unmanifest is busy becoming manifest (chores) are piling up. projects at work are not progressing. the obvious is becoming more so. skin rashes and athletes feet and neck spasms and headaches and joint aches and congestion during troubled sleep.
guilt and shame shaped behaviors.
couldn't find my little black tuner. no biggie. now i can't find my magicstomp! biggie smalls. the urge to splurge is predeeded by the need to bleed. liquidating assets and holdings. cleaning and polishing and trading and lifting and moving and storing. backyard maintenance and the threat of renewal, growth, reunion, hope is a cruel mistress.

Drive 55: arrive alive

Brian turns 55 on 4/3/06. busy with video project post production so lunch with Nick waits until today. The charge is to obscond with a 55 MPH sign and give to him as gift from OCCMC.
OCCFA elections are next Thursdays. George Keith retires this July. bubbles the chimp turns 35.
all kinds of movement with Dreamweaver, myspace, jeff on IM. television is a fading memory. finsihed up Deepak Chopra's How to Know God. I feel much better.
Intention. Sin. Ignorance. Bliss.
burning in the backyard that which will not blow away. Spring approaches. dance the day away.